12 days post op!

Well I am now 12 days post op.....and 14 pounds lighter! It hasn't been easy at all....I'm still on a mostly liquid diet. I have discovered a few no-no's already. For example cake, it doesn't go down so well. I had a weak moment and JUST WANTED 1 BITE! Good thing I don't have much of a sweet tooth! I did cheat and eat an apple though. It went down well, I was VERY cautious to chew it a million times first after the cake incident! I think I really just wanted to actually chew something! Two full weeks of a liquid diet...uhhhh! You forget how enjoyable chewing is.
The pain is pretty much completely gone now. Occasionally I feel it when getting out of bed or a chair, but nothing like it was last week. I haven't even had pain meds since the day after surgery. I'm back at work now, but working in one of the clinics until I'm off light duty. It's been a nice break from the ER but it has it's own set of frustrations.
I have had such amazing support from friends and family. With the exception of a few friends and one particular family member, everyone has been great. This is a little off subject but I've learned the hard way who my friends are. After going through such a hard time the last couple of years and particularly the last 6 months it became increasinly obvious that some people really just don't care about anyone but themselves. I know everyone has their own problems and I certainly don't expect anyone to "fix" mine. Lord knows I've made mistakes I can't take back. I guess I just don't understand how anyone that claims to be your friend can turn their back on you in a time of need. Especially after you say "I need you"! I guess I'm just not wired that way. Some people just don't want to be bothered. It's been a hard lesson to learn and honestly, it's made me a little bitter about friendships. I do know that I have wonderful friends that have been there every step of the way though and I don't want the bad apples to take away from the good ones. My ER family has been amazing and I can't wait to get back to them! I miss you guys!

The Biggest Loser

Ohhhh I LOVE The Biggest Loser! I look forward to it all year and I couldn't be more excited about the new season. I haven't picked a favorite yet, I don't know them well enough. Ask me in a few weeks and I'm sure I'll have lots of opinions.
I absolutely LOVE watching these people give their all and lose the weight. Mostly because I can relate to most of them. I love the trainers, I love the drama, I love the challenges, I love it all. Biggest Loser is the reason I started working out and got a trainer a year and a half ago. I was so inspired by the "losers" that I KNEW I could do it too. Of course my weight didn't drop as rapidly as theirs (or at all.....which is how I got diagnosed with hypothyroidism, but that's another story). I want to work out with Jillian so bad!
The highlight of tonight's show was when Amy and Phil were given a chance to call home and they called their kids. When Phil was talking to his autistic son and crying...I lost it. Also when the other son said "I'm so proud of you Dad". WHEW.....so good.

Letting Go

The past few months have been pretty tough for me, I've had to do a lot of letting go. I've had to let go of a few friendships that were either hurtful or just not working anymore. I let go of a relationship that died long ago that I tried desperately to hold on to. I've had to let go of some of the ideals that I had for my life.....I never thought I'd be 30 and still single!

Letting go hurts so much but I've learned that there is good in it also. Once I started letting go of hurtful people and things in my life, better things started coming in! I've rekindled some old friendships that had been neglected and now they mean SO much to me. I actually WANT to date other people now, I'm EXCITED about dating! I feel like I'm starting over and there is so much goodness to come!

I feel like I have just been struggling against everything over the past few years. Nothing seemed to work the way I wanted it to, I was always dissapointed. For example...my surgery. I have been wanting this surgery (Lap Band) for so long and every avenue I tried to get it didn't work out. I felt like it would never happen and was about to give up. Finally one day I thought "I can't do this anymore, I need help". So I prayed. I prayed and sobbed for about an hour. Eventually I started feeling calmer and thought "I just have to go along with whatever happens, I can't fight it anymore". I stopped fighting it and a few days later I got the call from the surgery center to set up a date for surgery! I think sometimes God just wants us to stop fighting everything. He wants us to just go with the flow for awhile and let things happen the way they are supposed to.
I have much more work to do on myself but I feel like I've made a good start and I can't wait to see what God has planned for me next!

My tat!

I finally did it! It's still a little red and swollen (it's only 2 days old) but I love it!